"Is that a coffee press in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Caffeine before Hygiene"

"Self-esteem is for losers"

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a multiple personality disorder, and so do I"

"I like my covfefe like I like my world leaders: unintelligible"

"Ketchup doesn't belong on a Goddamned hotdog"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies in your freezer"

"The Blood of My Enemies"

"Good Morning, Asshole"

"Decaf: A hot cop of why bother"

"Some days you're the Chupacabra, some days you're the goat"

"A yawn is a silent scream for caffeine"

"Why kill them with kindness when you can use arsenic?"

"Cup O' Student Tears"

Do you know what pairs well with that first morning coffee or tea?  A good helping of smartassery.  Show up at the office and tell people how you feel without actually saying a word.  You may get fired, but at least you'll have your say.


Mugs are designed and printed in Canada.

Get yours for only $15 (+additional shipping) 
​Collect the whole friggin' set!  
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE NEW DESIGNS AND THE SPECIAL EDITION MUGS BELOW!

"Dear Coffee I want you inside me"

SPECIAL EDITION JERK MUGS!


$20 (+ additional shipping)

"I love children (though I can rarely finish a whole one)"

"Coffee Inside How bow dah?"

"So, that screaming baby sounds exactly like a hysterectomy"

JERK MUGS

"Happy Festivus!  I've got a lot of problems with you people..."

"Day 2 of my diet:  I'm still fat!  This is total bullshit, man..."

"Cat-lady in training"

"Get some self-esteem, stupid"

"When I want you to have an opinion, I'll give you one"

"Kids are awesome (on toast)"

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"The Coffee Bean is my spirit animal"

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his rib cage"

"This gal only shaves one leg so she doesn't feel like she's sleeping alone"

"Coffee, I love you more than words could ever espresso"

"I like my coffee black like my soul"

"Is it caffeinated in here, or is it just me"

"Covfefe yeah you know me!"

"Smartass is better than dumbass"

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for caffeine!"

"Stupidity Should Be Painful"

"Shhh... (I can still hear you)"

"This morning's bed head has been brought to you by the letters, W, T, & F"

"This little bear cub is adorable!

#AlternativeFacts"

"Forget Jerk Chicken... As far as I'm concerned, all birds are assholes"

"This guy may or may not be the village idiot"