"The Coffee Bean is my spirit animal"
"Forget Jerk Chicken... As far as I'm concerned, all birds are assholes"
"I like my coffee black like my soul"
"Keep your friends close and your enemies in your freezer"
"The Blood of My Enemies"
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for caffeine!"
"Get some self-esteem, stupid"
"When I want you to have an opinion, I'll give you one"
"This guy may or may not be the village idiot"
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his rib cage"
"This little bear cub is adorable!
"Shhh... (I can still hear you)"
"This morning's bed head has been brought to you by the letters, W, T, & F"
"Happy Festivus! I've got a lot of problems with you people..."
"This gal only shaves one leg so she doesn't feel like she's sleeping alone"
"Is it caffeinated in here, or is it just me"
"Covfefe yeah you know me!"
"Kids are awesome (on toast)"
"Stupidity Should Be Painful"
"Day 2 of my diet: I'm still fat! This is total bullshit, man..."
"What the hell are you looking at?"
"Coffee, I love you more than words could ever espresso"
"Smartass is better than dumbass"
"Cat-lady in training"
"So, that screaming baby sounds exactly like a hysterectomy"
"Good Morning, Asshole"
"Decaf: A hot cop of why bother"
"Some days you're the Chupacabra, some days you're the goat"
"A yawn is a silent scream for caffeine"
"Why kill them with kindness when you can use arsenic?"
"Cup O' Student Tears"
"Coffee Inside How bow dah?"
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a multiple personality disorder, and so do I"
SPECIAL EDITION JERK MUGS!
$20 (+ additional shipping)
Do you know what pairs well with that first morning coffee or tea? A good helping of smartassery. Show up at the office and tell people how you feel without actually saying a word. You may get fired, but at least you'll have your say.
Mugs are designed and printed in Canada.
Get yours for only $15 (+additional shipping)
Collect the whole friggin' set!
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT THE NEW DESIGNS AND THE SPECIAL EDITION MUGS BELOW!
"I like my covfefe like I like my world leaders: unintelligible"
"Caffeine before Hygiene"
"I love children (though I can rarely finish a whole one)"
"Dear Coffee I want you inside me"
"Ketchup doesn't belong on a Goddamned hotdog"
"Self-esteem is for losers"
"Is that a coffee press in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"